3/23/2005 06:50:00 AM|W|P|Kathleen Ferguson|W|P| My first encounter with Leslie was with her butt. I was looking for an e-card and came across one featuring her gold, shiny hiney shaking from side to side (the now extinct BeatGreets.com video for her hit song "Gold Pants"). I immediately became her biggest fan and was full of joy to learn that she's a fellow Bostonian. My dreams were complete when I saw her perform live. The opening band, Christopher Rand and the Hula Hoop Team, was the perfect warm-up to Leslie. Christopher was a vision in his one-piece navy jumper adorned with a shiny rainbow flower, and his make-up didn't run throughout all of his sweaty dancing (i.e. jumping up and down). The Hula Hoop Team was a female duo in orange jumpers with some serious hula-hoop skillz, street style. After an ecstatic song proclaiming that Christopher has "A BOYFRIEND! A BOYFRIEND!," the troupe hula-ed out of the bar and right on down the February sidewalk, ostensibly all the way home. Next up, one half of the band Cassette killed the mood with his Morrissey singing and requisite electronic mod beats. He sang a song consisting solely of the lyrics: "the blue whale (long pause)... the blue whale (dramatic dance pose)," but I barely noticed. I had already spotted Leslie across the room in a full-body gold lamme bodysuit. The whole room was anticipating her funky jams; I could feel it. (I could also smell it; someone in the bar was farting big time.) After Cass was done flailing - as my companion Johnny Woodard put it, "Michael Stipe should gripe over his ill effect on this boy" - Leslie took the stage with the Boston branch of her band the LY's. Klassy K rocked the keytar while Dj Dr. Laura pretended to play a fake single turntable: a big box strapped around her neck and completely unconnected to the headphones she wore (believe in the magic... and the tape player). From the first moment to the last, their performance surpassed my expectations. Big girls dressed like sluts - check. Leslie busting out classic hip-hop dance moves - check. They have a delicate piano ballad about a "beat box radio;" a hillbilly banjo intro on "Rollin' with the Homies;" a song that begs you to do the robot dance ("UFO Jams"); and an eerie a capella version of the Jurassic Park theme song, which gets jarred by a thrash guitar chord, and then quickly resolves into a Caribbean steel drum tune about dinosaurs. The LY's boldly tackle many styles, and Leslie is unafraid of high, operatic notes, using them in full force melodies between raps for comic contrast. So how about their lyrics? Let's take an example from "Gem Sweater": "With these shoulder pads I have the strength to destroy villages, homes and crops/ They (gem sweaters) are coming back/ They want your babies/ Put them on/ You lovely ladies." Leslie warns us -"If you're wearin' gold pants I might have to sue you" - consoles us - "I'm so sorry you're a loser" - and teaches us about life - "I had 2 choices, you understand: I could start making babies or wear gold pants/ I took the path that very few survive/ Now my momma's bakin' drama and talkin' jive." Leslie is a true performer, delivering every word with purpose, pride, and proper emphasis. After hearing Gem Sweaters for the 53rd time, I called my mom and had her express mail me her most garish gem sweater, which I will wear to Leslie and the LY's CD release party (All Asia, Cambridge, MA, March 29th) in hopes that Leslie will accept me as a potential friend. The bar's B.O. level got too bad for us to stay for the headliner, Secret Cock. But before I fled, I was able to purchase Leslie & the LY's CD for $5. In a perfect world, we should be able to expect this from any live performance: sincere artists who wear hot outfits, bust major moves on stage, make you pee your pants laughing, and hook you up with amazing CDs for nothing. I would vote for Leslie in any battle of the bands because she's right; she and her beat box radio will put you in your place.|W|P|111158954497454972|W|P|Leslie and the LY's | Midway Cafe, Jamaica Plain, MA|W|P|fergbreath@gmail.com3/01/2005 11:40:00 AM|W|P|Danny Eagle|W|P| For some reason, I was among the nerdy teens who regularly indulged in a lame educational CANADIAN teen sitcom from the late 80s called Degrassi Junior High. It played on PBS, no less, and I must have been all hopped up on goof balls to not realize how goddamn lame this show was. But there were sex, drugs and zits (yes, zits) which made it relevant and intriguing enough despite the many red flags of nerdom. I hadn't seen in years until this weekend when Halified dropped it in the DVD player. Holy good Christ, this is the funniest and best shit that has ever made the leap from late 80s obscurity to the DVD. Packed with episode topics usually reserved for "a very special episode" of regular American sitcoms, these beauties hit hot topics - ranging from menstruation and popularity to rampant faculty lesbianism - in EVERY episode. I love it. I can only imagine my dad's squeamishness as we watched the episode when "Wheels" (a 15-year-old cool kid) buys condoms unknowingly from his date's mom at the pharmacy before showing up to take the daughter out. Ohhhhh sa-naappp. "Now I don't know what the two of you had planned for tonight, but given what I sold you today, and that YOU (turning to the daughter, exposing her slutty outfit from beneath a trench coat) look like a tramp, nobody is going anywhere!" There it is, all perfectly preserved as though it were just another day at Degrassi 1987. To make it better, the roster of naturally ugly teens ambushes groups of young people lounging in their respective hoods. But hey, these guys are totally low-key and just roll up, impromptu, loose and teen style... and ask insanely personal questions, like how teens like their newfound pubes. Yup. They really do. In between awkward teens just "rappin," the off-camera actors kick knowledge to make teens worldwide feel okay about their awkward changing bodies. The cool rebellious kid, Joey Jeremiah, Esq., who never totally learned how to skate but does on the show briefly in almost every scene, speaks about "being yourself" while reclined on the hood of his fucking Trans Am. I'm not joking. He probably ran down nerds in that car and gave that "you're a beautiful person on the inside" talk to over 32 teenage girls in the back seat. He should have been on the episode about teen pregnancy. Every moment is special, and looking back, there is no way this shit would air today. The Christian Right Mommies and Daddies would be crying Apocalypse and "military options" for Canada. I'm so glad that I grew up playing with toy guns that looked real, and teen sitcoms that talked about lesbians and pubes. Relive those days on every golden episode.|W|P|110970604714288500|W|P|Degrassi Junior High | Season 1 DVD|W|P|scottlmoe@gmail.com