12/30/2004 08:27:00 AM|W|P|Danny Eagle|W|P| All in all 2004 sucked. The suck outweighed that which did not suck. I think it's only fitting that the worst natural disaster since a meteor wiped out the dinosaurs made it in just short of the the January 1 deadline. You've read the lists, the "Best of/Worst of" in every daily paper and now you're stuck reading my list. So I'll keep it short n' sweet. I-ight? Word. Best of 2004: 2nd Annual Dead Baby Island Camping Excursion: I somehow convinced 28 of my friends and their friends to come to an island where a children's hospital for handicapped kids burned down...to go camping. We literally took the place over, had an unsuccessful seance and I almost ran full speed into a BBQ while barking at the moon. My last apartment: We were let in by mistake and somehow didn't get evicted. It was dope, roomy, affordable and I won't see a place as nice until I have kids someday. Red Sox win World Series: In the most anti-climactic baseball victory of all-time, the Red Sox beat the Yankees in the World Series after a 3 game deficit. It was the Yankees we played right? Now what the fuck do we do? Who cares?! We won the World Series you asshole! My parents' dog dying: What?! You can't say that! That's horrible! Well it's true, they were insane over this dog and they made it fat and lazy. He was a show dog once who was trained before we got him. You could say "Hare Krishna" and he'd jump on your lap, no lie. He was old and needed to go to the great dog bed in the sky and it's honestly a good thing that it happened. Chad, we'll see ya next time buddy. Dinner at Chestnut: This restaurant in my hood served me a meal that made my head almost explode...with flavor! It was insane, if I were on the electric chair, I'd have them serve me the brazed duck; they could keep the rubber eye goggles on too, I don't need to see it to know it's gonna be dope. Worst of 2004: George F. Bush: Most people saw with their own eyes that Bush was a big fat dummy on live televised debates and still re-elected him. Ironically, it was the people in the middle of nowhere that feared terrorism the most and re-elected the man, mistaking him for Jesus Christ. Trust me folks, your grain elevators are going to be FINE. Leave it to us city folk to worry about terrorism. Tsunami: This shit is still going on and I really can't get my head around it. We're talking about maybe 114,000+ people dead? It's completely beyond comprehension. There's nothing funny here folks, so if you're looking for diareah jokes look elsewhere, you sick fucks. Iraq: Giant mess and it involves us. We didn't have to do it, but we did and like Mr. Powell says, now we own it. It's not pretty, people are getting hurt and killed and that sucks. Janet Jackson's aging boobie revealed: What's worse than a total non-event becoming a national crusade for censorship? It's her stupid ring-clad nipple getting on lists like this, proclaiming it the to be one of THE events of '04. I told you this past year sucked. Fuck 2004.|W|P|110442424970392513|W|P|Dan Eagle's Year in Review | 2004|W|P|scottlmoe@gmail.com