4/16/2002 06:56:00 PM|W|P|Danny Eagle|W|P| Through a cloud of questionable smoke I first saw the Beastie Boys Skills to Pay the Bills video in total amazement. It had amazing sound, videos I'd never seen, and the wacky antics the Beasties are famous for. It was an instant classic in the household of a one Mr. Dan Eagle. I had two copies, one by the tube and the other in my underwear drawer in case of fire. The Beastie Boys Video anthology, released as part of the Criterion Collection has effectively replaced most of my most treasured Beastie Boys recordings including both copies of Skills to Pay the Bills. The idea behind the Criterion Collection is to collect the best possible footage from films, use the best video transfer equipment available, and work with the original artists to create DVDs that are conceptually on par with the work. You won't find shitty outtakes and extra scenes. There are 18 videos; most of them have up to 4 remixes, alternate camera angles, still photography, and artist and director commentary. Pick the remix and watch the video with it. Want to see the whole video in the perspective of the jogging cameraman coupled with the Mad Lib remix? You got it. This DVD almost begs lazy college kids to write term papers on the cultural implications of "Netty's Girl". It's only 25 bucks. Own this piece of modern history. Your future kids will ask you if you were into the Beastie Boys like you asked your folks if they were at Woodstock. The difference will be that you'll be able to tell them with a straight face, "Yes little Billy, I was down."|W|P|85012218|W|P|Criterion Collection | Beastie Boys Video Anthology|W|P|scottlmoe@gmail.com4/02/2002 06:00:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous|W|P| Has anyone here ever been to Bakersfield? I have been there a few times, and every time I dread going, and every time I end up having the time of my life in spite of myself. I have a friend from college who grew up there and whose family lives there still. This weekend she got married, and the wedding was at the resort across the street from the gated community where her parents' house is. I drove down from San Francisco with my boyfriend, and we had so much fun. But has Bakersfield always shown me such a great time? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The first time I visited Bakersfield, I had driven 13 hours straight from Portland, Oregon on Christmas Eve Day. I showed up at my aforementioned friend's parents' house (where my friend was staying for the Winter Break -- oh how I miss having a Winter Break!) in the midst of a party they were throwing for the holiday. Everyone was drunk. I was introduced to several red-nosed, middle-aged men and their blonde wives as "Carrie's Jewish friend, Princess." (I suppose the epithet was to serve as explanation for why I wasn't with my own family on Christmas.) Having not eaten anything during my marathon drive in an obsessive attempt to save time and "stay alert," I went straight to the buffet table that was filled with delicious Swedish food prepared by Carrie's mother. Most of the food hadn't been touched. I overheard several women mention that they had "filled up on crackers," and I was pretty sure the men were more interested in what the bar behind the food had to offer. So I filled my plate high. "Are you really going to eat all that?" I was asked by several of my new acquaintances. "Dear, it's Chanukah," a taught face explained. "It's one of those 'binge and purge' holidays." For one thing, it wasn't Chanukah. The second time I was in Bako, it was another holiday, and hence another party at Carrie's parents' house. It must have been St. Patrick's Day, because it was during the Spring Break (oh how I miss having a Spring Break!), and once again, everyone was drunk. My ever-generous hosts had rented a limousine for the night to take people home who might have had too much of the happy sauce. At the end of the night, when everyone had already been safely taken home, Carrie's parents suggested that we use the rest of the allotted time to take the limo to "downtown Bakersfield" with her brother and his friend, Matt. As we set off, Carrie, her brother, and Matt all told me, "You can't go to downtown Bakersfield without seeing a fight." Really? Downtown Bakersfield was what you might expect -- a 10-story office building, some banks, and a couple of bars. The limo dropped us in front of one of the bars, and we told the driver to pick us up in front of the other bar in two hours. What can I tell you about the bars in Bakersfield? First of all, most of the clientele was well under 21. Everyone was dressed essentially the same: tank top, tight black pants, and platform sandals for the girls; button-down shirt tucked into jeans for the guys. There were even a couple of cowboy hats -- the real deal, not those L.A. leopard-print fuzzy things. God, those HAVE to go. Anyway, the music and the general atmosphere pretty much fit with the rest of what I'm describing to you, and the second bar was just a bigger version of the first. At the end of two hours, we had had our fill of mid-90s pop and country. We went outside to meet our limo. I was just about to declare that I had been to downtown Bakersfield without witnessing a fight, when ... WHACK! WHACK! The first whack was Matt punching some kid in the face. The second one was the kid's head hitting the sidewalk. As Carrie, her brother, and I were trying to piece together what had happened, a crowd formed around the kid who was bleeding from his mouth and head. Someone was trying to help him up when our limo pulled up beside us. Matt burst through the crowd, frantically ushering us into the limo and yelling �Get us the fuck out of here!� Meanwhile, a police car's siren could be heard in the not-too-distant distance. As Matt was literally shoving us into the limo, which was still moving, another kid breaks from the crowd and charges at him, arms swinging. Matt commands the driver to keep driving, takes a swing at the kid, knocks him in the jaw, and takes a running leap into the moving limo. As we drive away, we see the police car pulling up to the scene and the second kid holding his bloody face and pointing down the street. My other visits to Bakersfield did not contain nearly as much social grief or physical assault. They mostly consisted of eating, drinking, and lounging by the pool. Having a friend to visit (and stay) with makes Bakersfield a pretty good place to take a trip, when all is said and done. It�s always warm, it�s quiet and easy, and everyone�s always ready to party. It�s also only an hour and a half from El Lay (barring traffic), so if you need a little more smog in your lungs, you�ve got that option. As for me, it�s the eating, drinking, and lounging that I adore about Bakersfield. My most recent visit was the epitome of such activities, taking place at both the home of my friend�s parents and the resort where the wedding was being held and where I was staying. This resort offered tennis, golf, swimming, kayaking, and glorious views of the agricultural bounty and expanse of brown hills that is the central valley of California. Where else in the country can you get such amenities for 70 bucks a night? Add to this the fact that 24 of my closest friends from college had all convened in this location from all over the country for this special occasion. And add to that my boyfriend�s presence and the room we shared that included a balcony, cable TV, and a king-sized bed. And add to that the inescapable fun of a wedding and the happiness surrounding the marriage of a friend. And don�t forget the cloudless, 85-degree days and the star-lit, 65-degree nights. Could Bako be Heaven? Why not? There are a million ways to die in Bakersfield, so you might as well end up there when it�s all over (if you believe in such things). |W|P|75054146|W|P|Bakersfield, CA|W|P|