3/31/2002 10:23:00 AM|W|P|Danny Eagle|W|P| Even stunt doubles powered by dynomite have to go to church twice a year. Music was king at this one, trumpets, symbols, the choir and the "Celestial Ringers." The ringers had a giant banner proclaiming their name and colors. I kept my eyes open for their rivals the "Bad News Clangers" to show up and have a bell-ringing turf war, but peace presided. I felt like I'd done my duty and could last until Christmas on this sermon's uplifting message, but was left hanging a bit when they broke out some of the gospel flavor. My excessively white church has a bad habit of trying to sing these balls-out gospel songs that really can only be done properly by a full on black gospel choir. It's like seeing your dad and all of his friends trying to rap. Racist? Maybe. But I hate to see people fake the funk, especially in the name of the man upstairs. Peace be with you.|W|P|75048675|W|P|UCC | Easter Service|W|P|scottlmoe@gmail.com3/10/2002 02:41:00 PM|W|P|Danny Eagle|W|P| This is not a secret: Sex in the City can officially get the dillsnick. In the last episode of this sitcom turn female masturbation fantasy, the horse-like Sarah Jessica Parker has been chosen by D&G to be a temporary "real person" runway model. She consults her multitude of gay male friends and they all agree that she is absolutely gorgeous and has what it takes to hit the catwalk. Her fashion photographer boyfriend gives her nurturing support and the whole episode ends with her overcoming clumsy footwork to rock the spot at the fashion show. Okay, let's have a look at that insant replay: ordinary girl turns fashion model (Suspect. Possible, but very suspect). Ordinary girl and her whole crew have a team of gay male life advisors (Gay fellas in NYC have nobody better to hang with? What about other gay fellas?). Love interest is a famous photographer who gives nurturing support (the only famous male photographer I know is Halified and his policy with girls is strictly "No Pain, No Gain"). Six Feet Under: I'll take it. Sapranos, you bet. But the next time I see Sarah Jessica Parker jump in my face with her rediculous clan of over-talkative fashion whores, I will not hesitate to put on Metallica "One" and bash in the TV with my left foot. Any other questions?|W|P|75004120|W|P|Sarah 'horse face' Parker | Sex in the City|W|P|scottlmoe@gmail.com