8/22/2003 01:56:00 PM|W|P|Danny Eagle|W|P| Of all the people I've seen hit the deck involuntarily, I'd have to give this one a 5 out of a possible 10 points. See, the fainting did not appear to be alcohol-related and when the day is done, there's really nothing more satisfying than seeing an asshead who's had too much to drink, or too much nitrous to the dome, fall flat on his face, possibly bump his head on something on the way. No such luck here, the girl seemed sober minutes earlier, the faint appeared to be completely health-related. It's harder to laugh at someone when you think they might be suffering from a seizure, at least laugh hard. For one thing, it lacked the scary, zombie like ramp-up. There was no, "uhhh", no eyes rolling back, and no damsel-in-distress-style hand to the head motion. No furniture was knocked over. All I saw was a commotion, a ruckus if you will, and then the girl on the floor. The fainting had just begun and already 2 points off the top. The drop did succeed wildly in the asshead department thanks to the victim's male companion, who was only feet away, but completely oblivious to the brain failure that his girlfriend was having. During the aforementioned ruckus, he sat there playing with his cell phone, while a crowd gathered around his date just 8 feet away. Ten minutes later, and up on her feet, she walked over to him smiling and barely got seated before she slumped onto his chest for round two, completely dead weight. Confused, with drink in hand, he attempted a Weekend at Bernie's bar stool prop up. Ding ding! Points here folks, this is good! His technique was off, she was heavily floppy and gravity took over; she was having sleepy time on the bar room floor in no time. Though the insanity held a horrified and entertained audience, the event did interrupt drink service for 20 minutes. Cost: 2 Points. By the time the ambulance and fire truck showed up to embarrass the victim, she was up and perky, smiling and making jokes. Cost: 1 point. Tips for fainters: faint like you mean it! Stop playing games with my heart. Take something with you, a table with plates and drinks is ideal. Bring big noise and commotion, success will follow. When you recover, ask for your childhood pet or mother for added value. It's time to get noticed people, faint like you were going down for the big dirt nap, make it clumsy, make it loud, and most of all, make it memorable. Thank you.|W|P|106158593872541235|W|P|Girl Passing Out at Bar | Audubon, Boston|W|P|scottlmoe@gmail.com